PROCRASTINATION POST

The Onion remains, if not consistently hilarious, then consistently unafraid to poke at the most sensitive and controversial of topics. Recent headlines include "Pope's Renal System Proves Fallible," "John Paul II's Last Words: 'Pope Sled'," and "Terri Schiavo Dies of Embarrassment."

MEDIA

The new, internet-exclusive Kingdom of Heaven trailer has some great-looking shots.

Kim Ki-Duk's 3-Iron looks interesting.

Night Watch looks DAMN good.

Check out the Japanese War of the Worlds trailer. More footage. And it only occurs to me now that it looks like the entire film will be from the perspective of this one family, so that has me more interested.

Here are the trailers (1 and 2) for Michael Bay's The Island, and if you're wondering why in God's name do I have trailers for a Michael Bay film linked on my blog it's this: he's been smart of late, what with producing remakes of classic cult horror films directed by chums of his (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre [with an upcoming prequel], The Amityville Horror, with The Hitcher in development), and this is a good move, something Roger Ebert (I think) wrote about: remaking bad films that had good plots (instead of remaking great films [i.e. Jonathan Demme squandering his career on The Truth About Charlie, a remake of Charade, and the recent The Manchurian Candidate]). So, a good concept, with potential for Explodo (what Bay's best at), rewritten by writers from JJ Abrams's Alias. There's potential there. And apparently, the original Island was so bad it was in an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

The internet-exclusive Fantastic Four trailers (1 and 2) are the best of the bunch so far, but still nothing exciting.

Goddamn, that 3rd Episode 3 trailer, I'll admit it, it got me excited again. Especially that hissing Emperor. Although, I still expect that the trailers will be better than the film. Though I do expect this will be the best instalment of the new trilogy. Here are the TV spots: 1 and 2 and 3

Meanwhile, a raise should really be given to whoever's been handling the marketing of Batman Begins, everything has been classy and just whip-smart. Here are the TV spots. Check out the first. I love that they're confident enough to have a TV spot be nothing but screeching, howling bats against a blood-red sky and the emerging logo. Hardcore!

I can't wait to see this: Sarah Silverman's concert film Jesus is Magic.

If you go here, you can hear some cool authors doing readings at last year's Library of Congress Festival, including Neil Gaiman, Neal Stephenson, Peter Straub, Lawrence Block, and Frederik Pohl.

Take a photo, apply lots of free time and fooling around with Photoshop, this is what happens. I hurt myself laughing at some, I think.

Here's the sick and wrong photo that wouldn't load for the longest time (from a previous post).

This is really for Harvey, but others may be interested: New Scientist's 13 Things That Don't Make Sense.

And this one is for Sansan, and anyone else who wants a laugh. The comments go on forever, but there are some real gems in there if you're willing to look for 'em.

And more sick and wrong.